(all ratings scored out of 5)

Curb Appeal – 4.8/5
Scare Factor – 4.8/5
Actor Enthusiasm – 4.8/5
Creativity – 4.6/5

Donna (The Frightmaster) – The USS Nightmare has always been a force to reckon with on the tri-state haunt scene.  For the past 25 years the boat has been terrorizing young and old people and all in between with it’s sinister “Captain” and dark, creepy halls.     It has been a scary experience that left you with nightmares and a fear of cruise ships for years.  It was good in the past but this year it has changed….

First of all – expectations are high for this haunt.  Knowing that going in it is a very long and a very creepy, dark haunt.  This year all of those expectations were blown away!  The boat actually has changed – yes, changed to the point that I was blown away by the “”new boat””.  The trip into darkness starts off innocently enough with a short history of the William S Mitchell boat and then…..a big surprise!  Many of the animatronics that I have seen in the past are gone – replaced by more sinister characters.  The halls and rooms are changed and noticeably darker allowing the suspense to build between scenes.  The actors are top of the line, convincing, scary, funny at times but very good and stayed in character throughout the haunt.
The make-up is extraordinary and done Hollywood style by a former “Face-Off” contestant named Gabby.  New rooms have been added and the walk through time extended about 10 min from last year’s haunt to an unprecedented 30 min to make it through.  The whole boat seems to have undergone a make-over from last year transforming it into an even darker, truly evil place haunted by the spirits of the dead captain and crew members of the dredging vessel William S. Mitchell.
This year after walking through the boat, I was truly convinced that I had barely survived a haunted ship and was lucky to get out!

Overall – best year yet for the USS Nightmare!!!!  Love, love, loved it!!!!

Todd – The USS Nightmare is always a good haunt. It’s surely unique, being on a boat and all, and this is utilized in every way.

The most surprising thing about this haunt is how long it is. Mind you, the boat isn’t small – but the length of this haunt easily feels twice as long as you would expect looking at it from the outside.

USS Nightmare excels in detail. Many areas are small and confined but that doesn’t stop them from supporting the theme in every way. This year I purposely took my time to observe the surroundings and there’s a LOT going on. So much so that the line between prop and authenticity is blurred at times.

The actors are top notch. They never broke character – even when making one last run to the bathroom before the doors opened.

We were treated to an extensive conversations afterwards with the head of their makeup and effects as well as other staff. Without going into detail, I will simply say that a lot of talent is on their team and it’s very evident that much time and passion is put into this iconic haunt.

This one is not to be missed and from what it sounds like, attending on one of the extreme weekends may just be worth a second trip.

Gus – USS Nightmare is such a unique haunted experience. Formerly an old dredging vessel, it now lurks under a bridge, waiting. While it may not look very large from the outside, be assured that it chock to the brim with horrors of all different types. The actors well made up and are highly engaging, which is nicely interspersed with incredible scene design. Just when you’ve forgotten you’re on a boat, you take a stroll over the scaffolding with the Ohio river rushing underneath. One piece of advice: Be nice to the Captain or he’ll feed you to the beast!

Gayle – Without a doubt my favorite haunt in Cincinnati!

There was so much about this haunt I loved:  from the fact it’s the only floating haunt, it’s creepy and eerie, with a LONG maze of terrors inside.  I was both scared, startled AND entertained…all at the same time.  I haven’t seen anywhere the level of detail and artwork in any other haunt.  The actors are extremely passionate and will both scare you…and make you laugh.  Love this.  Their costumes and makeup are top-notch…considering they have a contestant from season 7 of Face/Off working here.  The props are so well done and I’ve not quite seen so much enthusiasm from such a large group.  There was much about this haunt that is new as well…and I loved every single area.  The areas that are filled with screams to the eerily quiet areas where the visitor is walking, step by step anticipating something spooky to happen, to the dimly lit, foggy areas filled with body bags…all fantastically done.  I loved the balcony overlook, loved the Captain, the creepy, kooky dentist, the tight spaces, the areas where there are twists and turns and general misdirection…and so many well-made decorations!  WOW!!  This is well worth the trip…perhaps more than once to get glimpses of what may have been missed.  Super scary, super fun…and definitely my favorite!!  Great work crew!!!

Bill – I can’t say enough good things about this haunt. This was my first time here, and I was completely amazed. The fact that the haunt was built on a boat was awesome, and they carried the story to only be about the boat. The makeup and props were world class and could easily be part of a movie production. The scares were great… you had build up and without constant “kids jumping out and screaming in your face”. The actors never broke character, making the experience a personal one. I was engaged from entering until the end. You can tell that everyone that works there loves what they do. This is by far my favorite Haunt of the year, and I can’t wait to go again.

(all ratings scored out of 5)

The Northland Asylum

Curb Appeal – 3/5
Scare Factor – 4/5
Actor Enthusiasm – 4.8/5
Creativity – 4.4/5

Overall – 4/5

Teresa – This isn’t too impressive from outside, as it is in an old strip mall. Once you get inside, there are plenty of decorations for you to look at while you wait. And the roaming actors are great. Especially Fingers! He did a great job chatting with us and keeping us entertained. Just don’t let him get too close to your own fingers. He can’t be trusted! The Northland Asylum is fun. The characters are enthusiastic. There aren’t a lot of animatronics or expensive effects, but what they do have they use well. And being in an old strip mall, naturally made it feel more old and dilapidated too. Our wait wasn’t bad at all. Older kids should love this. A fun place to get scared where you don’t have to spend most of your time waiting in line.

Donna (The Frightmaster) – We went through the ScarAtorium back about a year and a half ago and at the time I was honestly a little disappointed in the quality, scare factor and creativity of the haunt, so I didn’t have too high of expectations for this visit.

Boy was I wrong!  The entire haunt has been redone and the quality, scare factor and creativity blew me away!  First of all, they took a very familiar theme (old asylum, patients escaping, crazy people chasing you, etc…) and put a new twist on it.  It is VERY effective in the scare factor area and I’ll explain why.

When you enter the haunt, a man introduces himself as the head orderly and welcomes you to the asylum.  While he is talking, you see a door with a window showing an inmate on the other side with an ax trying to break through the door.  As the ax pounds gaps into the door, the orderly rushes you to get out.  Then the journey through hell begins.

The entire haunt is crawling with very strange characters, each one different and each one more terrifying than the last.  The scenes are individually detailed and very convincing, the background sound was creepy but not overwhelming, just enough to set the mood.  But the stars of the show were definitely the actors.  The actors in the Northland Asylum train for an entire year to work in the haunt and it shows!  They are really some of the best, most intimidating, most convincing actors I have ever seen, hands down.

This was a great haunt and so much improved from the last time we went through it.  I absolutely loved it!  Bravo, Kelly and company!!!  Great job!

Todd – We last visited The Scareatorium on the 2014 Midwest Haunters Convention Bus Tour. At that time, I was not blown away. However, I’m happy to report that the past 15 months, things have really improved!

The Northland Asylum is one of 4 attractions indoors at the Scareatorium. This vacated grocery store (?) has been gutted and converted. Remnants of the former store can still be found here and there but walls and other structures have been put up to create the mazes. Given the space, the Northland Asylum’s facade is very detailed as are a lot of the scenes within. The “”patients”” within are very well played out and entertaining.

Throughout this haunt, I couldn’t help but simply know I was inside an empty store. The drop ceiling can easily be seen beyond the walls of each room and long hallways can be seen through the actors’ exits. These things take away from the experience, for me at least. I don’t blame them because I’m sure the build out in such a space is not easy to work with. Just an observation.

The Scareatorium also offers a few short breakout rooms which we did not have time to try out.

Gayle – The location of this haunt seemed odd.  It was located in an outdoor strip mall, so I wasn’t expecting much to be quite honest.  However, once I got through the doors, the decorations and set up were amazing.  There’s a midway with “”Fingers”” the Clown walking around to entertain you…in a most crazy way.  There are midway games and other entertainers milling about to keep you occupied as you wait to gain entry into the Asylum.

Here, the actors were impressive.  Never once got out of “”character””, and seemed professional and seasoned.  It’s refreshing to get a sense of their passion for what they do, and you definitely get that here.

The rooms and props were impeccable, and I was quite pleasantly surprised to find this haunt is open all year!  The owner was definitely passionate about his haunt, and showed much well-earned pride in what he’s created here. I love the fact we were broken into smaller, more personal groups…this adds so much to the intensity and suspense we experienced as we walked through.

It was creepy, eerie and super fun.  I was pleasantly surprised and felt this haunt, and it’s crew, were top-notch!!  Loved it.

Bill – What can I say, this has been the “sleeper” of this year, I don’t mean that in a bad way. When we pulled into the parking lot of the strip mall, I didn’t have high hopes, but as soon as we entered into this magical world everything was transformed. We were dropped smack dab into the middle of a haunted carnival midway which included a demented patient and “fingers” the clown. Fingers was an amazing actor, who like all of the other seasoned actors, never once broke character. He hinted to the madness that was to come. The great part of this was that in the Asylum everything was connected, all of the pieces were in place and there was an amazing amount of detail and skill put into every room. Like I said before the actors were incredible … they weren’t just jumping out at you, they were pulling you into their world. What a great ride.

RIP’s 3D Funhouse

Curb Appeal – 3.2/5
Scare Factor – 4.2/5
Actor Enthusiasm – 4.4/5
Creativity – 4.4/5

Overall – 4/5

Teresa – This is a funhouse themed haunt with creepy clowns peeping out at you as you wait to enter. You wear 3D glasses and wander through a maze of crazy paint effects. This one also doesn’t have a lot of expensive props or animatronics, but it makes up for it with actors, jump scares, and some cool lighting effects. Good, old-fashioned fun with clowns!

Donna (The Frightmaster) – This was without a doubt THE BEST Clown 3D Fun House I have ever been in!  EVER!!!!  It blew me away with the original 3D illusions, clowns, and creative scares.  Normally the 3D clown shows are my least favorite kind of haunts but this one is a MUST SEE for any haunt enthusiast!!!!  This one is different, fun, scary, creepy, and a thrill ride that you want to go through again and again.  Check this funhouse out – you won’t be disappointed!!!

Todd – Another 3D, blacklight-lit funhouse. For the most part, it felt very run of the mill. The typical tricks were applied taking advantage of your distorted depth perception.

There were a few points where hidden doors or misleading pathways were used – they got me! This added a bit more to the funhouse feel than I typically get in these haunts. That was a bit refreshing.

Although well executed, nothing groundbreaking here. However, if you’ve paid your admission, might as well go in.

Gayle – I’ve been to many 3-D haunts before, but this one was amazing.  Not only was it fun, but the actors were well-trained, entertaining and SPOOKY.  The costumes and artwork here is incredible.  Again…there’s so much to be said for actors who can portray their passion and really give you a good, honest scare…and that is what you’ll find here.  Hands down, the best 3-D haunt I have ever experienced!!  Great job guys!!!  I can’t wait to come back next year!!

Bill – I’ve never been much of a fan of 3D fun houses, mostly because clowns scare the crap out of me, but on the other hand I usually just end up with a headache and not much else to remember. Well that was before, this has to be the best 3D attraction I have ever been through. The artwork was amazing-gory, so my hat’s off to the artist. It was a great maze and once again everything was connected and with purpose. There were some great scares, as well as giggles along the way. Keep up the good work, best ever 3D!!!

(all ratings scored out of 5)

Haunted Hoochie

Curb Appeal – 4.6/5
Scare Factor – 4.2/5
Actor Enthusiasm – 3.8/5
Creativity – 4.2/5

Overall – 4.2/5

Teresa – This place looks pretty scary from the wooded approach all the way to the queue. The external decorations are really good and fit the theme. There’s a big screen showing music videos and political clips, all very subversive. There were some actors who visited the lines to keep things interesting. There’s a dancing girl and a gun tower. You really wonder what you’re getting yourself into. We got there early and still had quite a long wait. Plenty of time to anticipate. The haunt itself is very long and has a great layout. It is dark and full of really good decor. And they do a good job of sticking with the backwoods hoochie theme. The characters are pretty intense, the animatronics are excellent, and the props are fantastic (some I hadn’t seen before). My favorite parts were the scenes where they would stop your group and you’d witness some horrible bit of violence carried out on some terrified victim. These effects were great. Some were so over-the-top they had us laughing at the sheer wrongness of it. The actors will touch you. Nothing too crazy or uncomfortable. They touched my head a lot, grabbed my leg, one took me by the hand and dragged me into a cell, and they do touch you with the chainsaws. The lighting was good. Some parts are strobing, and other parts so dark you can’t see. It is just enough to keep you disoriented. Sounds and music are loud. Occasionally too loud to hear the characters very well, but definitely unnerving. Especially the gunfire. Overall, this is a great haunt. Not appropriate for children! It is one of the best we’ve been to this year. Definitely worth the price of admission and long wait.

Donna (The Frightmaster) – The Haunted Hoochie (aka “”Dead Acres””) is definitely in a class by itself.  It is a haunt, yes, but it is also a macabre, twisted, in your face, your worst nightmare show.  It is geared for the late teen to mid thirties age groups due to the physical contact and general pushing and shoving, slapping and pinching, hair-pulling done by it’s sinister roaming characters.  This is NOT your grandma’s haunt!

We arrived at the Haunted Hoochie early on a cold, rainy Sat evening and even though we arrived more than 45 minutes before opening (doors are supposed to open at 8:30PM) there was already probably a 45 minute to an hour wait.  We bought our tickets for $25 (no special treatment for media from the Hoochie ) and got in line by 8:20.  The curb appeal in this place is some of the best I have ever seen.  From the roaming monsters, loud “death metal” blaring, horror clips and rock bands on a big screen TV to the tattooed dancing hoochie in the bikini to entertain the waiting masses, they definitely build the suspense to a fever pitch.

The doors finally opened at 9:10 and we entered the haunt.  From the very beginning you are blasted by loud death metal screaming from what seemed like an endless number of loud speakers.  The atmosphere is dark, foggy at points, sometimes confusing as to what the theme or the scene is supposed to be, but always creepy and intimidating.  Hands seem to come from nowhere and pull, tug and grab at you as you do your best to hurry past them.  People scream obscenities and every turn!  You are forced to get into a jail cell, held back, separated from the group and manhandled to the point of true terror.  Did I mention that this haunt is not for the weak or timid???

Haunted Hoochie is an extreme haunt, probably the most extreme haunt I have ever been to in the past 22 years!  It is a terrifying and horrifying experience that will give you nightmares for weeks.  This is one to put on your haunted attraction bucket list!

Todd – This was my first time at Haunted Hoochie and I must say the haunt itself is GREAT. However, the experience is not. Let me explain.

First the haunt. It’s long, diverse, creative, intense and full of eye candy (both prop and female actors alike). They are many scenes (all well done) that you’ll find yourself in, including a shanty town, a swamp, a cemetery, and a cultist church with live sacrifice! The actors WILL touch you, but no worries – they only touch…no throwing, grabbing, fondling, etc like what you’ll find at Haunted Hotel in Louisville. There’s a lot of outdoor scenes and they feel very enveloping. The actors do a great job of involving you.

One particular approach that felt unique to Haunted Hoochie were various staged scenes you were forced to watch. Your path is blocked next to a small stage. You then watch a short display of murder and/or torture before the exit door is opened. These staged rooms are interactive and a lot of fun. I really liked the concept of keeping the group corralled in the room until the kill was complete.

Now, the overall experience unfortunately takes some points away for me. First, we were not greeted by the owner (or anyone) upon arrival. I don’t say this as if its an expectation, but this is an opportunity for the owner/operator to give us context, news on what’s new, etc.

Secondly, as clearly stated on their website, they seem to open whenever the hell they feel like it. Patrons did not gain entrance to the haunt until after 9:00pm, even though it opens at 8:30. By 9:00, an enormous line had already formed without any movement so an already-long wait is automatically 30 minutes longer.

Another disconcerting thing regarding their hours is that although they are open until midnight on Thursdays, according to their website, if the crowd “”sucks”” then they shut down early. I don’t know about you, but I’d be pretty upset if I planned on going around 11 or 11:30 to find out they decided to close early.

My primary pain point with my experience there was the subject matter playing on the projection screen while waiting line. Like any good haunt, entertainment is provided; mostly music. Good music too mind you…Metallica, Pink Floyd, Ministry – just to name a few. However, in between songs, we were constantly berated with 9/11 conspiracy propaganda and W. Bush -era administration bashing. Audio clips along with video footage of 9/11 and subsequent investigations were played between each music video.

Honestly, this was just about enough to make me leave. This misinformation had no context to the haunt whatsoever, unless it was to display blatant ignorance following suit to the Hillbillies Gone Wild feel. As a business, I disagree with their mass display of personal beliefs inside an attraction people have paid to attend, without full disclosure. I also think a haunt should be run as a business with clearly posted hours that are adhered to.

As a haunt, it’s a great one. However in the future I don’t know that it will be worth my time having to listen to all of the nonsense regarding a very serious event that killed almost 3000 people.

Gayle – Pulling up to this haunt was awesome!  I thought the exterior buildings and surrounding area was ideal.  The decorations were amazing, with tons to look at.  If you plan on getting there early, or right when it opens to avoid a crowd…plan on staying awhile.  The doors opened 40 minutes late, which was rather frustrating and leaves guests feeling their time is considered unimportant or invaluable.  Although I respect individual political views, I could have done without the “9/11” videos. They seemed unnecessary and out of place considering it was a haunt. The music, although great, was a bit loud and kept me from hearing much of the haunt inside.  Part of what I missed about this haunt was the “eerie” quality and the suspense, simply because of the loud music. It made it difficult to get a sense of how spooky this place really is, or what the actors were actually saying.

I did appreciate the themed rooms, and the decor was impressive, but the actors lacked that “”extreme”” intensity typically found in the rare “full contact” haunts.  The most you’ll get here is a stroke of the hair,a tap on the shoulder, or an occasional shove to keep the conga line moving along.  It really lacked that personal, intense experience found in other haunts of the same “genre”.

Overall, this haunt wasn’t what I expected, and despite feeling somewhat disappointed, I still had fun.

Bill – Haunted Hoochie… what can I say.. it is a dang scary place. I loved the outside. It is built out like an amazing haunted factory/slaughter house. Once we got inside, it opened 40 minutes late, I was impressed by the attention to detail with the props and room build outs. The gory sawing a guy in half to the prison scene… everything was there. There were a few shining moments with the actors … “smell my finger redneck” sticks out in my mind. I think I may have been much more scared if the music wasn’t so loud… so that I could actually hear what the actors were saying. I do have to say that the lighting, the length of the haunt, and the hard work everyone has to do to get this place running was impressive. I really did enjoy it, and it’s definitely worth the money.

Bad Trip: In 3D

Curb Appeal – 3.4/5
Scare Factor – 3.2/5
Actor Enthusiasm – 3.6/5
Creativity – 3/5

Overall – 3.3/5

Teresa – This one was a pretty standard 3D clown-themed attraction. You wear 3D glasses and wander through 3D paint effects. This is more fun than scary, in my opinion. There are some creepy clowns and spinning tunnels. It isn’t very long, but isn’t bad for a little something more to do before or after the main haunt. It pales in comparison to the Haunted Hoochie though.

Donna (The Frightmaster) – Bad Trip in 3D was a pretty typical Evil Clown Circus themed haunt with neon colored paint on the walls and floor and some gory clowns roaming the halls.  It was fun to go through but really didn’t stand out as having anything new or not seen before.  I did enjoy the non-menacing clowns as almost a relief after going through the Hoochie.  I needed some happy entertainment and it did win in that category.

Todd – This second attraction at Dead Acres is a blacklight infested clown house, with 3d glasses provided. If you’ve read my past reviews of these haunts, you know I’m not a fan.

However, I must say Bad Trip is the best executed haunt of this kind I’ve been though. Although it was bright and colorful, the paint was was applied with great style, creating effective 3D illusions. The actors were in your face and a more grotesque form of clown than you typically see.

There were plenty of props so it did not feel barren and I can honest to God say I’ve never had a female clown wave a dildo in my face prior to going through Bad Trip.

This one’s worth the time at Dead Acres.

Gayle – Again, the curb appeal of this place is spooktacular!!  3-D haunts are fun, and this one was fun, but again…the music is a considerable distraction to the enjoyment and suspense of this haunt.  The costumes were fun, but the actors here seemed to lack some enthusiasm. It seemed quick and I did feel quite rushed as well through this one.

Bill – “Bad Trip” was a clown fest… it was a fun run through a 3D maze, filled with gory clown parts and a few actors that were up to the task of scaring everyone in their path. The artwork was great and it was an enjoyable run through.

(all ratings scored out of 5)

Haunted Hayride

Curb Appeal – 4.2/5
Scare Factor – 3.4/5
Actor Enthusiasm – 4.6/5
Creativity – 4.4/5

Overall – 4.2/5

Todd – Sandyland Acres offers a hayride which while not the scariest thing around, is fun and refreshing from all the other haunts.

The trailers that hold ~25 people will be pulled by a tractor to various scenes depicting murder and mayhem. A lot was changed this year, mostly in the scenes and sets themselves.

The formula remains the same. At some points other trucks will chase you, while in other areas the actors will come aboard and make threatening gestures and invade your personal space.

My personal favorite change this year was a final area where 3 scenes are staged. This year, true life murderers were featured. Younger visitors may not be familiar with these infamous faces, but it was a nice touch.

Visiting Sandyland is a nice change of pace. It’s a little more family friendly and it’s nice to be able to ride through a haunt and take it in. A lot of work goes into this one and it’s much appreciated.

Donna (The Frightmaster) – We arrived at the Sandyland Acres location late on a moonless Saturday night just as the last tractor-pulled hayride was leaving.  Even though it was well past midnight, the actors still put on a great show.  The hayride takes you past Motel Hell, then through a very creepy and scary cornfield where you never know when or where someone will jump out at you.  Next you’re being followed by the semi truck and Jeepers Creepers is playing on a loud speaker.  The tractor takes a turn down a path into the woods and you ride past…..a large pirate ship!  This was an amazing edition this year and the canon fire was so unexpected everyone on the ride jumped out of their seats.  The themes change from one horror movie to the next and it’s fun to see your favorite horror characters come to life right in front of you as they jump on the hayride and literally get in your face!  Many of the scenes on the hayride have changed from last year but some of your old favorites are back (flaming truck, headless horseman).  The barn scenes are well done and the actors are very convincing!  I loved the snow machine.

This is the 10th year for Gene and Brenda’s Sandyland Acres haunted hayride and I’ve watched it grow from literally a backyard haunt to something that rivals any other professional haunt in the country.  This is one to see!
Trust me, if you love outdoor, creepy, scary, characters in your face, fun and creative haunted hayrides – do NOT miss this!

Teresa – This takes place on a farm, so you really feel like you’re in the middle of nowhere. I love the flame effects. They really add atmosphere. This part is in the style of a hayride, so you go through with a group of people, sitting on bales of hay. You’re pulled by a tractor through corn fields, while various characters you may recognize from horror movies chase you in vehicles, on horse-back, or some even climb aboard when you stop at one of the familiar scenes, and confront you face-to-face! The characters are fun and the actors engaging. They are good at targeting “victims” who will squirm and scream. However, because you are sitting with a bunch of other people, this isn’t as scary as some other haunts, and is great for a spooky family night out if you have older, braver kids. They changed some scenes from last year, and added a new effect which was quite a surprise. I won’t spoil it, but it was a nice touch. It is fun to try to figure out which movies all the various scenes and characters are from, and the vehicle chases are lots of fun!

Tammy – What a fun hayride haunt! Actors are great with interacting and jumping in the hayride – they always seem to figure out whose the most scared and target that person.  Ride is a good length with a spooky riding thru the tall fields of corn.  I like the atmosphere and that’s fun and scary all in one.  Fire, trucks, cars – always fun!  For those that like true life horror movies that’s what they deliver this year!

Andy – I really enjoy Sandyland Acres because for me it’s a old school, traditional haunt. The actors really get into it by jumping in and out of the hayride. The trucks are super awesome and are probably one of my favorite features of any of the haunts that I’ve been to! Very fun/ spooky haunt. Loved the barn this year!

Farmers Revenge

Curb Appeal – 3.8/5
Scare Factor – 3.8/5
Actor Enthusiasm – 4.2/5
Creativity – 4/5

Overall – 4/5

Todd – Sandyland also offers a small indoor haunt called “Farmer’s Revenge”. The production value is pretty good for the unsuspecting barn. It starts off with a pitch black maze that you must navigate. Once you find your way through that, you’ll pass through some more traditional haunted house scenes.

Donna (The Frightmaster) – This is an indoor haunt that just keeps getting better and better and seems longer than the small building it’s located in would physically allow.  Not sure how they do that?  This is one of the most fun, creepy, scary indoor haunts I have ever been to.  I love the dark part where you have to feel your way along the wall.  This year several new scenes have been added (tunnel, squeeze bags, water sprayers) and the old ones ramped up on the scare-meter.

The Farmer’s Revenge is severely CREEPY and fun at the same time.  Gene and Brenda are inspired when it comes to creativity and do so much with the room they have to work with it is truly amazing!
This is the way to design an indoor haunt.  Loved it!

Teresa – This part starts with a short video from the farmer to give you some backstory to what you are about to experience. If you’re afraid of the dark, go with someone you can hold onto! There’s a creepy array of evil characters you’ll encounter and lots of feeling your way, and there’s a surprise or two waiting. This is a nice counter-balance to the hayride part where you’re passively sitting with a safe bunch of people around you. Here, your little group is on its own. This would still be fun for older, braver kids and it isn’t too long if they do get really scared.

Tammy – Like the dark area because you are left to find your way thru a maze with intermittent lights and creepy actors appearing, getting shot with some type of liquid, shocked at times on the walls and walking thru things that you just aren’t sure what it is!  Some good jump scares and a really creepy clown!!  Fun!!

Andy – Farmers revenge was also a very traditional/old school haunt for me.  The dark maze was super tricky. Great jump factor. Loved the spinning tunnel! Great haunt!

(all ratings scored out of 5)

Curb Appeal – 5/5
Scare Factor – 4.3/5
Actor Enthusiasm – 4.3/5
Creativity – 4.8/5

Gus – The Dent Schoolhouse has long been a Cincinnati favorite and has consistently been recognized as a top haunt in the country. That sort of recognition doesn’t happen by accident. Every scene in the Dent Schoolhouse is highly detailed, which draws you into the illusion. While you are trying to take in the scene, the monsters have their chance to sneak up on you. So many times, I had already dismissed an actor as a prop or animatronic only to have them jump up and scare me.

This year, there is a pumpkin festival as you wait to enter with some great scares of their own. Also, the entire basement has been revamped and a lot of the animatronics have been replaced with in your face actors, which is great.

This haunt should definitely be on your list this year, and it should be at the top.

Todd – Anyone reading this likely already knows that The Dent Schoolhouse is widely ranked in the top 10 haunts in the country – and for good reason.

“Dent” is unquestionably the most themed and detailed haunted house  you’ll come across. Every single thing fits into the back story of Charlie, Dent’s central character who is supposedly responsible for missing school children on the grounds.

Much of the basement has been re-vamped this year, a lot of which contributes to explaining just where those children went. Although Dent’s actors do a fine job themselves, the building itself tells a tale; which why Dent is just so damn good.

Nothing is missed inside Dent. Nothing. Even though many of the scenes are brand new, they look as if they’ve sat there for 60 years. Every set is dirt-ridden, every pipe is rusted, every wall is damaged and it all looks spectacular. This is one of the few haunts you could feel uneasy walking through even if it was vacant. It projects a very sinister and authentic vibe.

A new outdoor area has been added as well this year. Think of a small town fall harvest fair with a dash of the twisted added. Each visiting group will have the opportunity to have their picture taken and may then circle the various booths before entering the main building. There’s not a lot of interaction offered, but it’s all still fun to look at. Scattered among each of the various outdoor attractions are ~150 uniquely carved pumpkins which display a light show.

Unfortunately we did not have time to go through the outside haunt, Queen City Slaughter due to a timing conflict.

Bottom line: Dent is damn creepy. As I mentioned before, the theme and detail are unparalleled. Those of us local to the area are very fortunate to have something so special and unique to the haunt community in out back yards.

Donna (The Frightmaster) – The Dent Haunted Schoolhouse has always been a very highly rated haunt, not just in the tri-state but in the country.  This year Bud and Chuck have gone where no haunt has gone before with it.  The scenes have changed, less animatronics, more actors/monsters, more dark areas, more fear, more dread, better acoustics and lighting, and I feel a visibly better haunt inside and out.

The curb appeal is off the charts with roaming monsters and weird little girls roaming around the waiting lines playing creepy music.  A TV showing horror movies entertains you while you wait in line.  The lines tend to get rather long as the evening gets later so it’s best to get there early.
The whole front of the haunt has a creepy carnival of evil vibe and that’s apparent even before you enter.  The outside area which used to be the abandoned playground has been transformed into a carn-evil side show with booths and side show characters.  You wind your way around them and towards the front door of the schoolhouse building excitement and at the same time dread of not knowing what scary creatures are waiting inside.  The rooms are meticulously decorated with so much attention to detail that I wanted to linger in each one to take it all in.  The actors are very enthusiastic without being annoying  – just convincing enough to make you fear going past them.  The acting was amazing!  These people are Hollywood caliber.  The make-up is incredibly realistic.  You see very few masks here.
The rooms each have their own “theme” but all are based on the haunted schoolhouse theme. It is a very long haunt and well worth the cost of the ticket.
All in all, I was happy to see all the haunt changes this year and felt that the Haunted Schoolhouse made a huge leap forward in both quality and fright potential.  This school went “old school” – back to their roots of the Frightmaster Award winner of the past and it worked!  If you haven’t been to the Dent Haunted Schoolhouse this year, you are missing out on one of the best haunts in the country!  Go!
Bravo!  Great job!

Teresa – I love the Dent! The wait to get in is always made more fun by the roaming actors. And they are different every year. If you don’t have skip-the-line passes, they still do a good job of entertaining (and scaring) you. They offer photos before you go in also, and I’d recommend them. Ours came out really good. The building is seriously creepy-looking (and really is an old school). They stick to the school house theme throughout which makes it easier to get immersed in the haunt. The decorations can’t be beat. Every room and scene is perfectly detailed. They changed it up this year too, so there were new scenes and props and one cool video effect. Look for it! The jump factor was really high. The characters don’t touch you, but they are great at jumping out of unexpected places. Between that and all the props, loud noises, and other startle-scares, you’re bound to be on edge. I’m not a jumpy person and they even got me a few times. You just never know when someone or something is going to pop out at you. I wish we could have stayed longer and gone through again. There’s so much to see!

Andy – The changes to the dent were awesome! Really enjoyed it. The animatronics were absolutely the best! Great jump factor, great make up and costumes, great setting! This was possibly one of my favorite haunts this year. We also got to attend the media night dinner/meet and greet and the folks from the dent school house really went above and beyond!! This is going to be a tough one to beat! Already can’t wait to go back next year!

Tammy – One of my favorite haunts!  An old school house and the setting is just perfect – new actors outside this year with great costumes.  We were here for media night and what an awesome time we had!  Great food, drinks and a behind the scenes peek- the owners really put together a great night and made our visit even more enjoyable.  The haunt had lots of changes this year – less animatronics and a lot of great jump scares!!  The outside carnival theme while waiting to go thriugh the schoolhouse is well done with lots of carved jack-o-lanterns -sets a great spooky and fun environment.  People were coming out of walls and ceilings and places I couldn’t even figure out where they came from.  The haunt is so detailed – the props and details are amazing and hard to take it all in on one walk through.  The Dent made a lot of improvements this year – great haunt – one of my favorites this year!

(all ratings scored out of 5)

Blackout

Curb Appeal – 3/5
Scare Factor – 3.3/5
Actor Enthusiasm – 3/5
Creativity – 3.7/5

Overall – 3.25/5

Todd – This one could be terrifying if you’re scared of the dark of claustrophobic. It’s pretty much just a maze in the pitch dark. PROS: It’s different than the others. CONS: Rooms and hallways get clogged with people – hope you’re friendly.

Donna (The Frightmaster) – This was not your typical dark haunt.  Blackout was extremely claustrophobic to the point that will make a normal person hyperventilate and a claustrophobic person to have a panic attack.  Think of a dark room with more and more people being crowded into it, all pushing and shoving trying to find a way out.  Did I say it was dark????   You literally cannot see your hand in front of your face.  The haunt winds around and around as you feel your way through different textures of wall, some soft and some electrified!  There weren’t any actors in the haunt as far as I saw (or heard) but it was a scary experience.  One of the better dark haunts I have been to.

Gus – This review is bittersweet. This year, Kings Island replaced one of my favorite of their haunts, Club Blood, with Blackout. At least Kings Island was mindful enough to tip the hat with a tombstone honoring the beloved Club Blood.

The good news is that Blackout is a worthy successor, but for totally different reasons. There are no actors inside Blackout, instead it is filled with darkness. It is pitch black inside. You’ll have to feel along the walls to make your way out. Some of the textures made me pull back in fright. “”What did I just touch that was so furry? I hope that wasn’t another patron!””

I might still be stuck inside if not for the occasional flash of lightning and subtle arrows faintly lighting the way. Give this one a try, it’s really different!

Board To Death

Curb Appeal – 3/5
Scare Factor – 3.3/5
Actor Enthusiasm – 3.3/5
Creativity – 4.3/5

Overall – 3.5/5

Todd – One of the better themed haunts. Most games are easily recognizable. They quickly go from creative to gory. Not too bad.

Donna (The Frightmaster) – This is always a fun haunt because of the creepy twist on well known board games.  It’s more fun than scary, though.  I felt the lighting was not good this year, though, as it was hard to see some of the detail in the decorations and so the scenes lost a bit of their scary effectiveness. The actors also needed to be a little more aggressive and not so quiet and stand-offish.  We were there on the first night they were open so I’m contributing the lack of enthusiasm to opening night jitters.  Even so, this is still a very fun haunt!

Gus – We had a little trouble finding this one from the map. You’ll find Board to Death back by the entrance to Firehawk and Flight of Fear.

Board to Death was a nightmarish trip through all my childhood board games. I saw, Trouble, Battleship, Operation and Monopoly, just to name a few. The tricky part about this one is that while you are taking in the scene of the twisted board game, the actors will sneak up on you and give you a fright!

Carnevil

Curb Appeal – 3/5
Scare Factor – 3/5
Actor Enthusiasm – 3/5
Creativity – 3/5

Overall – 3/5

Todd – Run of the mill clown haunt. Overuse of black lights is evident throughout. Not a lot of content inside, unfortunately. Only worth it if you’re afraid of clowns. If not, skip if the line is long.

Donna (The Frightmaster) – Usually the Carnevil/Killer Clowns haunt is my least favorite among all of the haunt themes but I found that this one was fun and even a bit scary at times.  The actors, especially the ring master who greets you at the front of the line, were much better and more convincing than some of the other haunts at KI this year.  The illusions were very good and creative, especially the “invisible people” stuck to the wall.  There were many drop door and drop window scares and enough killer clowns to keep your feet moving and your heart pumping all the way through.  This was a good one!

Gus – Carnevil is twisted, black light-infused circus. The good news is that the black lights mean that this one is not quite so dark, the bad news is that those with fear of clowns will still find this one terrifying. Things are not always as they seem as walls move and that thing you thought was a statue was an devious clown playing tricks on you.

Cornstalkers

Curb Appeal – 2.5/5
Scare Factor – 1.5/5
Actor Enthusiasm – 2/5
Creativity – 1.5/5

Overall – 1.9/5

Todd – The one thing that cornstalkers lacked was CORN! There was some at the end, but in past years, the pathway was lined with corn throughout. Perhaps there was a crop shortage this year? In its place was burlap sheeting and puffs of fog. The airbrush t-shirt stand was in clear view from inside. Pretty lame, unfortunately. Was better in years past.

Gus – Cornstalkers is right near the Eiffel Tower. When Cornstalkers first started a few years back, it was too open and too sparsely decorated, but it has continually gotten better over the years. I still find myself wishing that it were more enclosed, and more claustrophobic, but it still allows for some pretty good scares of actors hiding amongst the stalks and jumping out at just the right time.

This is a good one to start with as it is near the entrance to the park and the cornstalks do a great job hiding the actors, even when there is still daylight.

Delta Delta Die

Curb Appeal – 2.7/5
Scare Factor – 3.7/5
Actor Enthusiasm – 4.3/5
Creativity – 3.7/5

Overall – 3.6/5

Todd – One of the better themed haunts. Not too scary, but the girls are fun. If you have the special key, you’ll be initiated into the sorority house before you go in. Be prepared to eat or drink some nasty stuff. Being a scream queen doesn’t come without some effort.

Donna (The Frightmaster) – This one was my favorite haunt of the night due to the decorations and the actors.  The scene is a sorority house gone bad complete with blood thirsty pledges, fraternity pranks, horror movies on a big screen, interactive dialogue with the actors, and some other surprises including a large, walk in closet that’s not what it seems.  The actors in this haunt were very convincing and stayed in character even when we interacted with them.  The detailed rooms were meticulously decorated reminding me of a college sorority or fraternity house (think “Animal House”).  This was both creative and convincing and it was truly a treat to go through!!!

Gus – Now that Club Blood is gone, Delta Delta Die is where to go for your PG-13  Kings Island haunt. The girls of Delta Delta Die have some pretty over the top hazing rituals for entrance to their sorority, you’ll be lucky if you survive it! These girls sure know how to party though. Plenty of detailed scenes and interesting jump scares make this a personal favorite.

Killmart

Curb Appeal – 3.7/5
Scare Factor – 3.7/5
Actor Enthusiasm – 3/5
Creativity – 3.7/5

Overall – 3.5/5

Todd – Consistent throughout and it actually does look like a disheveled department store inside. Just the right amount of actors in this one although I dont know what was scarier; the zombies or that it’s not too far off from what real K-Mart stores look like.

If you have the special key, you’ll have to do some gut fetching before you can go in.

Donna (The Frightmaster) – This was a very interesting and fun haunt and one of the newer additions to the Kings Island Haunt offerings.  This was a scary, creepy trip through an abandoned K-mart with creatures lurking around every corner and under every shelf.  The different areas were “themed” according to a regular store including a clothes department, toy department and outdoor department, each with their own personality and weird personnel.  I loved this concept and kept thinking that it would make a great horror movie – being trapped in an old abandoned K-mart with creepy nightmarish creatures stalking you!  This was one of the best haunts at Kings Island this year.

Gus – Killmart looks like a dilapidated chain retail store. There’s a good number of jump scares. My favorite part of this one was the floral shop. If you stop to shop the monsters will get you, so keep moving!

Madame Fatale’s Cavern of Terror

Curb Appeal – 3.5/5
Scare Factor – 3.5/5
Actor Enthusiasm – 3/5
Creativity – 4.5/5

Overall – 3.6/5

Todd – One of the best haunts for props. The wax models and effects are pretty cool which all come together for a decent theme. Unfortunately, this year it felt shorter and scaled back. Less of a good thing is well, not good.

Gus – This is my favorite haunt at Kings Island. The theme to this one is a wax museum. There are plenty of spooky mannequins and you are never sure if something is real or not. My favorite room is the one with all the heads, but don’t dawdle for long, or your head could become part of the collection!

Slaughter House

Curb Appeal – 3/5
Scare Factor – 3.5/5
Actor Enthusiasm – 4/5
Creativity – 3.5/5

Overall – 3.5/5

Todd – This haunt has the best props of them all, hands down. Entrails. Entrails everywhere! The actors were also pretty lively. Lots of blood in this one. Good job. I wish there was more to the outside decor though.

Gus – Chainsaws and meat. So much meat.

Tombstone Terror-tory

Curb Appeal – 1.5/5
Scare Factor – 1.5/5
Actor Enthusiasm – 2/5
Creativity – 1/5

Overall – 1.5/5

Todd – This one was always…not great. This year they’ve removed the train entirely. Before you’d ride the train half way to the water park and then get off and walk this trail back.

Now, you have to walk yourself back to the starting point on a dirt access road. Worse off, you’re walking directly parallel with the haunt side of the trail. The only thing diving you from what you’re about to walk back through is a thin burlap sheet. No surprises on this one.

Even once on the actual haunted trail, the actors were dull, lackluster and props/hiding places were few and far between.

Might be time to take this one around back and put her down.

Gus – The Tombstone Terrortory was a little more interesting in previous years. You’d get on the train and it would “”break down”” somewhere along the lines and you’d have to fumble through the woods to get back to town. This year, you skip the train ride and walk right past 80% of the haunt, just on the other side of a very thin burlap wall. Unfortunately this spoiled a good portion of the haunt for me as I knew what to expect and where.

There are still some pretty good jump scares along the way, and the woods are pretty creepy at night, but overall, I’m disappointed in what could be a great haunt. If you’re pressed for time, you might skip this one.

Urgent Scare

Curb Appeal – 3/5
Scare Factor – 4/5
Actor Enthusiasm – 3.7/5
Creativity – 3.7/5

Overall – 3.6/5

Todd – This one has always been decent. Unfortunately, it fell in-line with this year’s overall “what happened?” feeling. It seemed shorter and felt more like the same thing over and over until the end. Gurney, blood, victim, demented doctor/nurse repeat.

If you have the special key, you’ll learn one of you is infected and must be cremated. There will be a short, cramped ride for whoever that is. Not a bad twist but what happened to the Poo Man from last year? He was fantastic. Bring back the Poo Man!

Donna (The Frightmaster) – Urgent Scare was dark and demented, long and loud and scary and surreal at the same time.  I especially liked the beginning when one person was singled out and placed in a coffin for a ride to hell.  I got to experience this first hand as I was placed in the dark box and felt the jolt of the casket being moved and lowered into the ground.  Then I was allowed to hide behind a curtain and scare my friends as they walked through.  This haunt was darker and bloodier than last year with better actors and more intense scenes.  It could be even better if the actors were a bit more menacing, but overall I got a good scare more than once while walking through.  Nice job with the detailed rooms as well.

Gus – Urgent Scare is located in the back corner of the park near the Vortex and Dinosaur adventure. This is a hospital gone wrong, so very wrong. Bloody Nurses, demented Doctors, and the poor suffering patients await you on your journey through this haunt.

Wolf Pack

Curb Appeal – 2.7/5
Scare Factor – 1.7/5
Actor Enthusiasm – 2/5
Creativity – 2.3/5

Overall – 2.2/5

Todd – Way too many actors in this one. They’ve crammed a lot of foliage and props into an already small area. There would then also be a guy in a wolf mask every 5 feet. Less is more sometimes.

Donna (The Frightmaster) – This was probably my least favorite haunt at Kings Island this year, somewhat due to the fact that it was still light outside when we went through and we could see every character, who were by the way, all wolves except for a couple of bloody Red Ridinghoods.  This haunt was very repetitive all the way through with each room like the last.  The actors were not very intimidating as we walked through, some didn’t even move toward us or say anything.  Again, possibly due to first night jitters, but it hurt the overall experience of the haunt.  It may have been better to go through this one after dark.

Gus – It’s important to note, that while this haunt was under the cover of a roof, it should probably be called an outdoor haunt since it is so open. We made the mistake of visiting Wolf Pack in the early evening while there was was still some daylight out. With all the light coming in, many of the actors were left with no shadows to hide in. I got the sense that this would be much better under the cover of darkness. Even so there was some great scenes and plenty of corners for the wolves to jump out from. Definitely check this one out.

(all ratings scored out of 5)

Curb Appeal – 4.8/5
Scare Factor – 5/5
Actor Enthusiasm – 4.9/5
Creativity – 5/5

Donna (The Frightmaster) – Okay, how do I describe my experience in the Haunted Hotel?  This haunt is extreme, over the top, in your face, make you pee yourself and the feature haunt of our trip.  It is the most fun, scary, intimidating, funny, creepy non-stop intense haunt we have ever been through.  From the very first few minutes where you line up against a wall and are given a talk by the crazy hotel proprietor and forced into the rickety elevator with another “occupant” who wasn’t with your original group, you know you are in for a great ride.  The hotel is fast paced and doesn’t let you catch your breath between scenes – each one more extreme and terrifying than the last.  The actors do touch, manhandle and push you, tickle you, and knock you around quite a bit.  We thought the manhandling was ramped up from last year maybe a bit much for some of the haunt goers, though.  This is an extreme haunt and it definitely lives up to it’s rep.
We loved the changes this year – love the fact that the entire haunt was different from last year.  Many haunts are good for a few years but get old quickly because the owners don’t change anything or very little from year to year.  Kevin knows that to keep people coming back you have to keep the scares new and fresh.  He did this very well this year and it was like going through a brand new haunt.
The haunt is longer than you would think.  It just seems to go on and on (and on and on and on….) especially when you are being chased by five people with very real looking chainsaws at the end.  This is the kind of jolt you get from sticking your hand into an electrified fence.  If you go through one haunt all year – you have to get to Louisville and check out The Haunted Hotel!

Teresa – I can’t get enough of this one! It is considered an “extreme” haunt. The actors will touch you. And I don’t mean tap you on your shoulder. I was caressed, carried, thrown on a table, dragged, sprayed, and shocked. And I loved it! This really kicks the fear factor up a notch. It might be a fine line between uncomfortable-scary and inappropriate-scary, but they do a great job of being just scary enough without going over the line. The actors are extremely enthusiastic and interactive (and in some cases acrobatic). Oh yeah, and deceptively strong! I also love that there are so many unexpected things. You just never know what you’re walking into as you enter a room. It is a long wait to get inside, but it is worth it! And you get to watch people run screaming out into the street as they exit, which is always great entertainment. If you can handle being man-handled (or woman-handled) this one’s the one you must see.

Todd – EASY 5/5 for me! Relentless. Abusing. Invading. Terrorizing. These are all words that immediately come to mind after going through Haunted Hotel this year.

This incredible haunt has won our Frightmaster award for the past two years and they’ve managed to greatly out-do themselves once again!

The experience is unlike any haunt we attend year after year and it’s mainly because of the level of physical contact made. We’ve been to other haunts where the actors can touch you, but that’s a HUGE understatement here.

This year, I was once again pushed down onto a steal table while a saw produced sparks in front of my face. Ok, been there done that. However. the next thing I know, I have a knife to my throat while being bent backwards over a wooden railing. It was not comfortable…at all. Yet, it was amazing. Another new experience was a lovely female actor grabbed my head and pushed it into her ample bosom. (Let’s do this one again!). Of course the same actress proceeded to pick up one of our fellow reviewers and carry her half way across the room. This actually happened a few times.

It’s no secret – you WILL be touched, grabbed, carried and creepily caressed in there.

Also astounding this year, was the haunt’s transformation. Almost every single room had been remodeled significantly, no detail spared.
The outdoor portion felt mostly the same, however the chainsaw-weilding maniacs at the end are viscous as ever, chasing terrorized patrons to the next block. This includes fellow reviewer, Gayle, who was so spooked that she was chased ahead of our group, not to be seen again until we exited. She was visibly shaken for some time afterwards. It was fantastic.

No words can describe the experience that Haunted Hotel provides so go experience it for yourself. It’s hardcore and not for the weak-witted. DO NOT BRING CHILDREN. This experience could seriously mess them up.

For me, what makes Haunted Hotel so great is the “”4th wall’ doesn’t exist. You don’t just go through and observe. You’re a part of it whether you want to be or not. You cannot escape the actors’ clutches. The more you show resistance, the harder they’re going break you.

It’s the best money a haunt lover could ever spend. Go. Now.

Bill – Once again, I had the crap scared out of me. The story changed, the rooms are different and the actors bring out the best in creepy and downright bone chilling scares.

Andy – What a extreme  haunt! From start to end there is never a dull moment in the Haunted Hotel!  This has got to be one of the most intense haunts around! Actors did a awesome job!  Great design and lay out as well. Already can’t wait to go back.

Tammy – My personal favorite haunt in Louisville! This is not just a haunted house – it’s an extreme haunt and they certainly live up to that name!  This haunt is long and you are worn out at the end and have a huge adrenaline rush all at the same time!  This is an intense haunt and the actors can and WILL touch you!  There’s darkness, touching, breathing in your face, grabbing and pulling.  This is terrifying, creepy and fun all at the same time!  The owner goes above and beyond and has some amazing staff and actors!  Intense, scary, an experience, a thrill, freaking amazing and totally my most favorite haunt ever!!  Get the fast pass it’s worth the nine extra bucks!

Gus – The Haunted Hotel has been a favorite of mine for several years now, and this year did not disappoint. It should be noted that this is an “extreme haunt,” so throw out all the rules you know about a haunted house. The actors can and WILL touch you. They will invade your personal space and pin you to walls. They will chase you down the street with chainsaws. And you will love it. The line moves slowly, but it is worth the wait.

Gayle – Ok…so I wait all year for this place!  This haunt is definitely NOT for the faint of heart…at all.  One of my favorite things about this haunt is the fact that it’s merely a house, in a residential neighborhood…how bad can that be, right?  Well…the anticipation of waiting to “”check in”” to this hotel is intense alone…but combined with the faint cries, screams, and an occasional chain saw, not to mention the looming characters milling about help to build the anticipation until the front door swings open!  Small groups pile inside to be greeted by a most crazed hotel owner.  He’s in your face, and warns of the horrors that await each guest.  The elevator ride to your floor is out of control!  It was difficult for me to even keep my eyes open..but one must…you don’t want to miss a single second.  Walking through, you will be touched, picked up, carried off, and every moment is sheer terrifying FUN!!

The owner of Haunted Hotel has proven once again he knows what is scary!!  His passion shows, the actors are super intense and do an amazing job.  This one is always a long anticipated wait, and well worth the trip from Cincinnati!!  Great job!!!!

(all ratings scored out of 5)

Curb Appeal – 4/5
Scare Factor – 3.6/5
Actor Enthusiasm – 4.6/5
Creativity – 4.3/5

Donna (The Frightmaster) – This is one of our favorite haunts in Louisville and we look forward to returning to it every year!  The theme of the Devil’s Attic is obvious from the first room where you actually meet the devil himself (this actor is one of the best in the entire haunt!!!) and continued all the way through the haunt.  There are a variety of VERY impressive animatronics throughout but the true highlight and meat and potatoes of the attraction are the actors.  We love the intensity that they have in every scene, especially The Exorcist scene and the new Evil Dead scene with chainsaw arm Ash and the thing under the floor trying to escape.  The scene looked like it was taken right from the movie set.  The actors are some of the best we have seen anywhere and very, VERY convincing!  I did feel that the haunt was a bit shorter this year than in the past but that could have been because I was moving faster trying to escape the evil characters chasing me!  Great actors + fun, fun haunt + scary scenes = this haunt is not to be missed!!!

Teresa – This one is great for horror fans. You walk through lots of your favorite horror movie scenes. The actors are very enthusiastic and I thought the decorations and costumes were quite good. There are some pretty creepy scenes and a few unexpected jump scares. I’d really like to see them add more interaction to make it last a little longer. Or some memorable surprises. For a horror movie fan, this one is over too quickly.

Todd – The Devil’s Attic still has the most authentic looking costuming and familiar scenes that I have seen in a haunt. The haunt is mostly comprised of iconic horror movie sets and characters while adding their own in between.

The Devil who welcomes you upon entering is iconic to the Devil’s Attic and is easily recognizable to past visitors. His look and stature has been consistent over the years, making him easily identifiable in a lineup of hell dwellers if there were to be one. I think it’s great when a haunt has established a central character that can be recognized anywhere. He’s no Mickey Mouse but to local haunt fanatics, he might as well be!

The haunt itself remains as impressive as ever. I continue to challenge anyone to find more authentic looking cenobites Pinhead, Butterball and Chatterer. This Hollywood-grade costuming, in my opinion, deserves a larger Hellraiser section than what is offered. I want more!

A welcome addition this year is Ash (circa Evil Dead 2) in a fun cabin set.

The attention to detail is amazing in every facet. I took the time to examine a pile of bones. Not only could I see the dirt and grime in the crevasses of the joints, but blood had been applied along with spider webbing. This wasn’t even a focal point of the scene; just something you walk past.

The acting this year was noticeably more exuberant. The Devil’s Attic has never had an issue with acting, but the dial has definitely been turned up a notch which adds to the overall energy of the experience.

If I had anything to fault, it would be the pacing. The scenes felt a little rushed. This also could be simply because there is SO much content packed into the finite space. At times a consistent pattern of “”enter, wait, startle scare, move on”” was felt as  you walked room to room.

Jigsaw’s maze breaks up some of that patterned monotony but perhaps less areas that are larger may be the next change to make.

The Devil’s attic is the closest you’re going to come to jumping into your favorite horror movie, I just wish each showing wasn’t so short.

Gayle – I love this haunt!  The themed areas based on horror movies are absolutely amazing.  The actors are incredible and their costumes very realistic!  The attention to detail is evident as you walk through, and you can tell the owner loves what he does.  I love feeling as though I’ve been transported onto the set of Hellraiser…or The Exorcist!!!  I like the added touch and opportunity to take group photos while waiting to gain entry.  If I had one criticism…it would be that I felt it was too quick.  There was so much I wanted to take in, as there is much to take in.  All in all…this is a very solid haunt, with great themes and powerful actors.  Well worth the trip from Cincinnati!!

Bill – What an amazing attraction! The actors and scenes were amazing recreations from the movies. Really loved seeing Ash and Regan! My only problem is I wanted to spend a day in there looking through all the amazing details.

Andy – The devils attic is always a great haunt. The actors are always super enthusiastic, the set up is great, and I like how a they have used a lot of the horror movie themes. It’s like getting to walk through some of the best horror movie sets while it’s in action!

Tammy – This is a very theatrical haunt that gives you time to look at the costumes and props.  The haunt is short.  While waiting in line you are entertained by the devil looking for his next victim and someone from the line is taken and disappears with the devil.  Scary movie themes are used throughout the haunt; great actors; lots if space to walk thru; good lighting.  The first room with the devil is both spooky and entertaining.  Lots if attention to detail in this haunt.

Gus – The Devil’s Attic has a lot of really great rooms based on your favorite horror movies. I think my favorite was the Evil Dead. Each scene is amazing, the actors are always jumping out of some unseen hidey-hole. I just find myself wishing it was longer because its so good! Be sure to get your selfie with a chainsaw before you go in!

(all ratings scored out of 5)

Please see overall comments at the bottom of each section

Darkness Falls

Curb Appeal – 3.9/5
Scare Factor – 3.9/5
Actor Enthusiasm – 4.6/5
Creativity – 4.4/5

Overall – 4.2/5

Donna (The Frightmaster) – Darkness Falls was a very long outdoor haunt (33/4 of a mile) that was one of the most exciting and creepy haunts I have been to in many years.  The trail was just dark enough to give you that feeling of being stalked by who knows what and you never knew what was around the next corner.  The haunt was what you would expect from an outdoor haunt – and more!  Enthusiastic actors, very detailed scenes, eerie lighting, good storyline, even a dark slide to ????  I had a blast!  You feel lost in the woods in the middle of a horror movie with no one to hear you scream!  Loved it!

Teresa – This was so much fun! It is a very LONG trail. All of the scenes looked great, from the cemetery with awesome crypts to the shacks with cannibalistic families. Very good use of lighting spacing, so the trail was plenty dark, but you could always see a light in the distance to walk toward so you didn’t get lost. I liked that it didn’t have animatronics. I enjoy good animatronics, but this made it feel like an old-school haunt that uses more live actors and decorations for its scares. I would definitely do this again!

Todd – Darkness falls is your typical outdoor trail with a few standout areas. As with others, there’s a hillbilly shanty area, a clown area (nice and dark though!), a cemetery, etc.

The areas the pop out though make up for any lackluster sections. The most favorable to me was the power generation station run by a fantastic actor directing each of us to one of two chutes full of human waste or scalding conditions; either of which we would be paid third-world wages for our contributions.

I tend not to ruin surprises but I feel obligated to let readers know that either of these chutes are actual slides you’ll have to navigate. Unfortunately for me, upon landing I sprained BOTH of my ankles. The landing area is well padded. Unfortunately, my feet planted on the surface material while my body carried it’s momentum past them, resulting in pain accompanied by hair raising cracks and snaps. I was able to hobble my way through the rest of the night with tennis ball-sizes ankles. 3 days later, they’re still sore…but improving. POINT IS – be careful on the slides. The ends are VERY low to the ground.

Despite my pain, I still enjoyed myself on the remainder of the trail. The actors as a whole were very energetic. Lighting is generally scarce between major establishments so walking with caution is a requirement. Another notable observation of mine was the lack of animatronics. The scares rely on the actors and overall setting, which works effectively!

There are plenty more gems to be found in Darkness Falls. You’ll have to discover them on your own.

Gayle – This is a pretty interesting haunt!!  I loved the creepy walk through the woods.  Each station was themed and the actors were passionate.  There were some things I experienced in this haunt, I have not experienced in any other.  From the zip-lining ghost, to the slide into the “incinerator”…it was super fun…yet pretty darn scary!

Gus – Darkness Falls is a trail in the woods, which is already creepy enough, but then the creative scenes really take it up a notch. The actors come at you from all angles, even overhead! My favorite scene included a large furnace where the actors where feeding guests to the stove for more power!
Definitely worth a visit.

Bill – I really enjoyed it, my favorite parts were the “incinerator” and the church of the vampire… very creepy and the actors did an amazing job.

Andy – Darkness Falls to me was a very traditional haunt which is why I really enjoyed it. It wasn’t filled with animatronics or anything to over the top. The actors were great and the buildings, designs, and the lay out  of the haunt were done very well. It was pretty lengthy as well. Super good haunt really enjoyed it!!!

Tammy – Outdoor haunted trail that seems to go on forever – long nice hike they the haunted woods.  I like the “old school” feel that this haunt offered.  One if my favorite parts was walking thru the sideways bus.  Lots of props and details and the girl at the entrance talking about snapping turtles was awesome!

Zombie City

Curb Appeal – 4.4/5
Scare Factor – 3.6/5
Actor Enthusiasm – 5/5
Creativity – 5/5

Overall – 4.5/5

Donna (The Frightmaster) – This haunt was designed and built by our good friend from Baxter Avenue Morgue – Joey Arena, who is a true genius in both theater and all things scary.  We had high expectations going in and were NOT disappointed!
This is a haunt like no other and you have to experience it to understand what I mean.
From the very beginning where you are ushered into the reception area of Paragon Blackwood City Research Facility – a nuclear medicine research facility, and meet the friendly receptionist, you know things are not what they appear to be.  The receptionist hands you the first badge (you later find out you have to have this badge to be able to get out of the facility) and ushers you to a viewing room behind a glass window where a doctor is performing experiments on a patient.  The lights go out and something goes wrong with the experiment and the patient escapes….then the nightmare begins….
Joey has created something so new, so fresh, so much fun that it is in a category all by itself.  It’s part haunted house, part outdoor attraction, part zombie hunt, all interactive, incredibly fun and was just the highlight of our night!  We need more haunts like this one.  You feel as if you are actually in the movie and it’s really happening to you.  The actors are so believable, the attention to detail in every scene convinces you that it’s real to the point that I found myself actually thinking I was being chased by real zombies!  Bravo Joey Arena!!!  This haunt is definitely a MUST SEE!!!!

Teresa – I absolutely loved this. Quite a different experience from the typical haunt, where you walk through scenes, feeling like a spectator. These actors involve you in the story. You have to speak to them and they give you instructions and tasks to carry out. And some of them aren’t what they seem. It is really an immersive experience. And while I’m not easily spooked, there was something very unnerving about being near the back of the group in this one, with zombies constantly coming up behind you. I really felt like they might grab me or bite me. This one is a must.

Todd – I would describe Zombie City as an “interactive experience” more than a haunt. There are scares, don’t get me wrong, but its intention is to pull you into an all-encompassing experience with a story.

The premise is something you’re familiar with: a viral outbreak occurs, we result to nuking an entire town and now a privatized organization is cleaning up…or are they?

You first are welcomed to the facility by a receptionist who explains the company’s cause and presents a short video (containing a hint of propaganda) produced solely to convince you of their warranted presence and efforts.

You’re then handed off to a tour guide who takes you by an actual test being conducted on an affected citizen. This is when things go wrong.

You’ll quickly learn the truth about what’s going on and make your way through the town meeting other residents, government officials, contracted scientists, city workers and of course the unfortunate locals who have fallen victim to the zombie-producing plague.

The narrative is HEAVY in zombie city. Each area and actor will have a little bit more of the story to tell. We tested their improvisation and they stayed true to character and story while addressing our questions.

At times you’ll be given key items that you’ll need to keep with you to get past another area further down the way (some contain surprises!).

Make sure you hold on to your security badge…you’re going to need it.

Zombie City is unlike anything I’ve ever experienced at a haunt. It infuses live theatrics into the surprises and experience you get from a haunt to create something refreshing and innovative. This could very well be a new and upcoming trend in haunts, much like we’ve seen with escape rooms in recent years.

If you were to go to Asylum Haunted Scream park for anything, it should be this. Joey Arena, formerly of Baxter Avenue Morgue, deserves mass praise for this endeavor. I can’t wait to see how this experience grows and fosters similar projects in the future.

Gayle – Ok…this one is incredible!  From the moment you are briefed, to the moment you escape is a non-stop interactive ride!  You are literally touring this facility overcome with the infected, but not just walking through…you become part of the story.  You must locate a security badge with which to leave this facility…and along the way, you are engaging with the actors, ducking shots, and even carrying equipment to the lab!  It was unique, different and super fun!  The actors here are well-trained and the story they tell you along the way is believable and exciting.  The attention to detail is evident.  I felt absorbed, terrified, entertained and amused all at the same time!  I look forward to coming back to this one next year!!

Gus – This haunt is totally different from anything I had experienced before. This is a fully interactive, story driven, adventure. While there certainly are scares, the story elements of this really shine. It’s like living out an episode of the Walking Dead (TM). Make sure this one is on your list if you are in Louisville! Search for other survivors, avoid the dead, and be careful who you trust in Zombie City!

Bill – Loved Zombie City… it was so unique, while it wasn’t necessarily scary it was an emotional trip, and I felt part of the story. Great job, we need more haunts where the story carries you through. Great job.

Andy – Zombie City is something that you can tell has had a ton of thought and creativity put into it. I’ve been to quit a few haunts, especially in the last few years, and have never seen one like this.  It was definitely the best acting I’ve seen in any haunt! Really enjoyed interacting with the actors and becoming part of the story!   This haunt was also super lengthy as well. Looking forward to see how the story progresses next year.

Tammy – Looking for something unique and different? This is the haunt for you!  A story, some scare factor and amazing actors!  This has a different twist on your typical haunt – it’s a story-telling theatrical experience unlike anything I’ve ever been thru.  Actors were great!  Setting and story were a lot of fun.  Being interactive and having the task of finding your own security card or you can’t leave is a lot of fun.

Xterminate: Mutant Attack

Curb Appeal – 3.4/5
Scare Factor – 3/5
Actor Enthusiasm – 3.9/5
Creativity – 4/5

Overall – 3.6/5

Todd – Xterminate: Mutant Attack is another interactive attraction at Asylum Haunted Scream Park. It’s also the best “”laser tag”” experience I’ve EVER seen.

The guns used are light guns. Each mutant actor you are targeting wears a sensor which appears to react to the light your gun produces when fired. It also emits a signal that when too close, indicates a wound on your gun.

As the operator, you are responsible for firing and reloading the gun, while dodging the mutants to stay healthy. Although there was sound and vibrations to indicate being attacked, there was no noticeable repercussion for being wounded. Perhaps this would be something neat to include as it would make better sport of the experience.

The playing area is well lit and there are a number of obstacles to navigate while hunting down the diseased actors. They will chase you to a degree – that is, until you shoot them down.

It’s fun! I also cannot get past how good the guns are. They’re solid and very responsive.

To enhance the experience I’d like to see some sort of compared scoring among the groups and as I mentioned before, some sort of penalty for getting too hurt. I think this would drive attendees to get into the experience a little more.

It would also be a little better if the area as a whole were darker. There may be a technical reason it is lit the way it is, but the darkness would add a little more suspense in my opinion.

Overall though – it’s fun and definitely worth checking out.

Gayle – Here’s the thing…normally when touring a haunt, I am terrified.  As I was upon beginning this one…however…I was handed a WEAPON!!  This took a ‘normal’ zombie haunt to an entirely different level.  Your mission…should you choose to accept it…is to save the world by eliminating as many zombies as possible!  This is a laser-crazed maze of pure adrenaline and fun!  I could have easily spent hours in there, and had an absolute laser “blast”!!!  Well done!!!!

Gus – If Zombie City is a tv episode, Xterminate is a video game. You are issued your standard issue pulse rifle and turned loose in town abandoned to the undead. Finally you are not so defenseless as you shoot your way through the town. I recommend going through this one last so that you can get revenge from all the scares you’ve had in the other Asylum attractions!

Bill – What a  great time, running around and shooting zombies that are crawling out of the woodwork like cockroaches. Great fun, and good exercise.

Andy – What a blast! What better way to end the night than to take out a bunch of mutants! We had a absolute blast with this. The set up was awesome and lets face it, anytime you get a gun and get to blast mutants its going to be a great time. The actors did awesome! Once again something different that makes Asylum haunted scream park really stand out.

Tammy – Lots of interaction in this haunt!  You are handed your very own weapon upon entering and instructed on who and how to shoot the mutants.  Walking thru a fun maze, laser shooting the bad guys – fun times!!

Carnivale of Lost Souls

Overall – 3.3/5

Donna (The Frightmaster) – This area of the haunt was more of a sideshow entertainment good to pass the time while waiting in line for the other attractions.  There was a fire breather, and a girl who twirled fire and also a guy swinging around some homemade knives and meat cleavers on a chain who just made me nervous.  There was also supposed to be a contortionist but we didn’t see her perform.  It was fun to watch but with some polishing could be better.

Teresa – The only reason I’m not rating this higher is there isn’t much to it. Having said that, the performers were quite entertaining, and I haven’t seen anything like them at another haunt. It really did lend a side-show feel to the central area. And the wandering actress was absolutely wonderful.

Todd – Carnivale of Souls, while impressive, did not feel big enough to be labeled as a feature attraction of the park.

I give lots of credit to the performers – they all did things I wouldn’t attempt to do, ever. We witnessed fire juggling (on chains), fire breathing and knife juggling (on chains). Each act lasted a few minutes.

To me, the very short show felt more like something you would watch while waiting in line for one of the other attractions. In order to market this as it’s own feature, I think the show should have even more variety, more structure and more content.

What we saw was very impressive, but very small compared to the scale of the other featured areas.

Gayle – I found attraction mesmerizing.  A great way to be entertained as you wait for the other attractions.  I found the entertainers here daring and fascinating!  I would have loved to have seen more entertainers…and perhaps a bonfire as well.  Still…I think a fun and entertaining attraction!!

Gus – The carnival of Lost Souls is not so much a haunt, as it is a show to watch while you stand in line for the other attractions. Feel the heat from fire dancers, fire breathers! You’ll take a step back as they juggle knives. Certainly entertaining, so make sure you get a good spot to watch, I recommend right up front!

Bill – Loved the firebreather, and fire handlers… amazing and they held my attention. Thank you for sharing you daring.

Andy – Enjoyed watching the side show in between haunts. The fire breather was awesome! Keep us entertained, once again something different that you don’t see any where else.

Tammy – Fun entertainment before entering all of the haunts.  Fire breathing, knife tossing, meat cleaver juggling and fire juggling were the acts on stage that night.  Again, very unique and different along with some talented people performing

Overall Score – 4/5!

Please see overall comments at the bottom of the post.

Temple of Terror

Curb Appeal – 3.3/5
Scare Factor – 3.8/5
Actor Enthusiasm – 4/5
Creativity – 4.3/5

Overall – 3.8/5

Comments:

Todd – Without doubt, Temple of Terror is the most claustrophobic attraction at Land of Illusion. The walls are narrow, typically forcing your party to proceed single file. Skeletons and other crypt creatures reach out as you pass by. As if this wasn’t enough to make you feel as if the walls are closing in, more has been added to obstruct your already limited path.

If you’re familiar with the Temple of Terror, don’t expect significant changes. The route and its major staples remain the same. Caskets and other items have been added to the walls, just enough to move you out of your comfort zone, closer to the unknown around the corner.

Some black light paint as been added to a section of walls depicting symbols and other randomness. For me, this felt completely out of place. I’m not sure how or why someone deep down in ancient ruins would have broken out the rave paint and decorated. This didn’t fit into an otherwise consistent theme at all. If I could make a change, it would be to get rid of this, pronto.

The actors were hit and miss. Those sticking to the shadows did a good job staying hidden, but when revealed, the “”boo”” was a little lackluster. Those that were more featured did a good job portraying their roles.

Overall this is still a great (and pretty lengthy) haunt to check out. It’s dark (except for the black light section) and has more corpses and skeletons than you could ever count. If they continue to find a way to continue adding  to a claustrophobic setting, it could be a stand-out attraction.

Donna – Temple of Terror was a haunted house and “Indiana Jones” rolled into one.  An adventure through a dark, scary tomb complete with mummies, zombies, hot vampires, dark, claustrophobic hallways, rolling tunnels, a rope bridge and a 25 ft tall monster with glowing eyes.  This haunt seemed longer than last year and was a treat to venture through.  The actors were very good and the “cami monster” gave us the thrill of the night!  Great job!

Gus – The Temple of Terror has been updated for the better this year. There are more decorations on the wall, making it feel more closed in. This has the effect of less space to dodge the actors and really lets them shine. Several of the actors costumes blend so well into the decor, that all they need to do is lunge forward for a quick scare. These changes help make this my favorite haunt at Land of Illusion this year.

Teresa – I really enjoyed the temple theme throughout and the decorations were creative. There were some really cool animatronics in some of the scenes that I haven’t seen before. The actors were fun and interactive. And there were a few surprises (think moving floors or ceiling) that always make for a good time.

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Dr. Psycho’s Haunted Estate

Curb Appeal – 3.8/5
Scare Factor – 3.8/5
Actor Enthusiasm – 4.8/5
Creativity – 4/5

Overall – 4.1/5

Comments:

Todd – Dr. Psycho’s Haunted Estate is the most traditional haunted house in Land of Illusion…primarily because it’s a house…and more!

I’ll start by saying this is my favorite attraction at LOI. A LOT has been added to it in recent years. This year, I didn’t notice any major additions; just a few minor modifications and props but that didn’t make it any less enjoyable. There’s not much to dislike about this haunt.

This haunt features both indoor and outdoor scenes as well as two stories of freaky madness. The amount of detail put into this haunt is not easily matched. Each room is staged almost perfectly, which is great because you’re bound to notice something new the second and third time visiting.

This haunt also wins the “”best actors in the park”” award in my book . Foes and victims alike are relentless in their roles. They were all very energetic and would not give up on making you feel as uncomfortable as possible. If they can have that much gusto in them opening weekend, I can’t wait to see what the bring in mid-October!

If I were to change anything on this one, it would be the front facade. The inside is spectacular while the entrance is unsuspecting…or perhaps that’s exactly what they want.

Donna – This haunt was my favorite of the night because it reminded me of the old school haunted houses.  The characters ranged from a demented doctor and his tortured patient to a girl playing with toys who kept wanting us to stay and play with her.  The rooms are very well decorated with attention to detail.  The actors are very enthusiastic and convincing.  Extremely well trained and good at their jobs.  One of the best all around haunts I’ve seen because of the actors.  This is a haunt you’ll want to go through again and again.

Gus – Dr. Psycho’s Haunted Estate is a long-time favorite of mine. The actors that work this one can often be seen chasing people out the exit. They really go the extra mile. Expect the unexpected.

Teresa – I enjoyed this, but I would have liked to have had more live actors. The ones I did see were very good at hiding and jumping out at just the right time. And they made some creepy sounds! The lighting was well done so that you could see just enough. The animatronics and decor were also very good. Every scene is very detailed. I also thought the sound effects and music added to the creepiness. The concept isn’t very unique, but it was still a fun time.

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Middletown Haunted Trail

Curb Appeal – 4/5
Scare Factor – 3.7/5
Actor Enthusiasm – 3.7/5
Creativity – 4/5

Overall – 3.8/5

Comments:

Todd – The Haunted Trail is hard to summarize because 1) it’s incredibly long and 2) it has many differently themed areas.

Those who dislike the ol’ “”walking in the dark woods”” will probably get freaked out just getting to the entrance. Just wait until about 1/5th of the way in!

With this haunt as well, I didn’t notice any major additions. Years past have offered HUGE additions like the underground bunker. Expecting that level of additions each year is pretty unrealistic so don’t let this discourage you.

The overall themes throughout are the same. It’s still long, very dark…did I mention long?

Unfortunately the actors were not up to what I’ve experienced in years past. They weren’t bad, but there was a lack of energy. Before I’ve seen the “”hillbillies”” be especially terrorizing. This visit – not so much.

One moment that really grabbed my attention was a staged scene right before the cave. A rope-tied actor was struggling to escape and then quickly was overcome by another actor who proceeded to drag him by said rope out of view. Staged theatrics really peak my interest and I’d love to see more of that. There were a few “”murder scenes”” along the way, but they energy felt more slow and “”pretend”” than brutal and attempting to be convincing.

The trail can set a mood on its own without any actors at all. It’s certainly a feat in its own right and has plenty to site see along the way. There’s a new spider infestation so if you are afraid of 8-legged freaks, take note.

The trail always has incredible potential but the execution of those involved could be sharper.

Gus – Dark and brooding, just the way I like it. This is the longest, of the attractions at the Land of Illusion and probably the most unique. Even when you think you are in a safe part of the trail, you’ll notice someone following you out of the corner of your eye.

Teresa – First, let me say that I love an outdoor haunt. This one was long and had some pretty unique sections that we went through. Again, there were some animatronics I haven’t seen before. Some of which were loud and unnerving with great sound effects. It could have used more actors, but as I said, it is a long one, so you can’t fault them there. The actors that are there are memorable.

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Voodoo Bayou Shanty

Curb Appeal – 4.3/5
Scare Factor – 3.8/5
Actor Enthusiasm – 3.5/5
Creativity – 4/5

Overall – 3.9/5

Comments:

Todd – The Shanty is surely the most themed attraction in the park. Stepping up to the entrance, you already know where you are and what you’re likely to see inside. The entrance is just that – a shanty and a damn convincing one at that.

Inside, you’ll see everything you’d expect from the worst of back-wood folk: dirty everything, trash, questionable taxidermy, unsanitary conditions and some people just not quite right in the head.

You could label this haunt more gross than scary. At times you can’t help but laugh. Not because it’s bad or cheesy; there’s just a deep juvenile reaction present when someone’s trying to stick a turd in your face.

Voodoo Bayou Shanty’s star moment for me has always been towards the end. You’ll find yourself in a very narrow, dark walled-in area. Typically you’ll get a visit from their local chainsaw-wielding madman while you’re in there. There isn’t any space to run away, so have fun!

The actors, while not always the most brutal in the park, are always convincing and play their roles very well.

This is one to attend just for the experience of it all. And you thought YOUR house was a mess…

Donna – This haunt was more fun to go through than scary, but still a great haunt!  The lady in front who welcomed you and then yelled “Pa!  We got COMPANEEEE!!!” was hilarious!  The shanty even smelled like an old, nasty rotten shack down in the New Orleans bayou!  The characters were your typical backwoods inbred kin.  The haunt had much character but not a lot of scares.  It scored high on entertainment, though.  Loads of detail in each room and even the outside areas were carefully crafted to remind you that you were lost in the bayou!

Gus – I’m pretty sure these red-necks are cannibals. The shanty is grimey and gross and assaults all your senses, even smell. My favorite part of this is the pallet maze. The only light available to you comes in through the slats and makes things especially creepy. Don’t think that you are safe from the chainsaws just because you finally escape into the night, you will be chased!

Teresa – This one may be my favorite. I really like how they stick with the theme throughout and the decorations are really good. I like the lighting, music/sound effects, and the characters really play their parts well.

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Killer Klowns

Curb Appeal – 3.3/5
Scare Factor – 3.8/5
Actor Enthusiasm – 3/5
Creativity – 3.3/5

Overall – 3.3/5

Comments:

Todd – Killer Klowns is the weakest attraction in the park, but to be fair, this theme is always a very hard one to pull off.

If you have an inherent fear of clowns you’re probably going to skip this one just because. If you manage to go in, you’ll probably find it terrifying because there’s clowns all over this thing.

This particular haunt is better than most of its kind now because the overuse of black light was abandoned last year. Now, there’s a much more balanced mix of eye-popping florescent paint and dark dingy corridors. What scarier than a clown? A clown in the dark – and this is where Killer Klowns shows some promise.

A significant addition this year to Klowns (in my opinion) is the enclosing of the chain-link fence maze. Past visitors will remember mid-way through, an outdoor maze that really did nothing more than break up the flow of the haunt about half way through. Now, however, the whole section has been built over and pumped full of fog. Add in a few hostile clowns and you have something completely different that adds to the experience. It’s hard navigating a maze that you can’t see, but it’s fun.

I feel this haunt could work well. I’d like to see more sinister, murderous, and monstrous clowns. The actors were pretty sparse sans the fence maze and some of the thrill here is not immediately knowing which clowns were dummies and which may be real.

Killer Klowns is a step ahead of those like it, but still feels lacking in a few ways.

Donna – The Killer Klowns haunt is usually my least favorite of all the haunts but this year it was different, scoring in the top three haunts.  It was as expected for a clown haunt with a scary twist – I won’t give it away so you have to see it to know what I mean.  The actors were very enthusiastic, the make-up was excellent and the haunt was different and changed from last year.  It seemed longer with more dark areas and scarier clowns.  Who isn’t afraid of a clown with pointed teeth????  WELL DONE!

Gus – This twisted carnival has been updated this year and is better than ever. The chain link maze now has a roof, trapping in the fog and making it darker and spookier than ever. The actors take advantage of this by darting in and out of the fog and darkness.

Teresa – This one is probably the most sparsely decorated of the bunch, but it does have fun rotating tunnels and a foggy maze to make it memorable. The clown actors were good too. I’d say this one was more fun than scary, but I’m not that freaked out by clowns.

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Zombie Sniper Patrol

Curb Appeal – 3/5
Scare Factor – 3.3/5
Actor Enthusiasm – 2.3/5
Creativity – 4/5

Overall – 3.1/5

Comments:

Todd – Rating Zombie Sniper Patrol is difficult because the criteria isn’t apples to apples with a haunt.

For example, there’s nothing in your face, so it’s not scary. The zombies you are targeting are slow, well padded and not the least bit intimidating. This year they did come up on the street and “”run”” after the bus but there was still no hint of a threat.

That said, it’s still a fun ride. There’s always a sick pleasure that comes about me when pelting the hell out of a zombie’s head with a paintball gun.

This year, more scenes have been added, including a more interactive final scene which really kicks it up a notch and pulls you into the action. I don’t want to spoil it, but it’s certainly an indication that zombie sniper patrol could be evolving into more than just a traveling shooting gallery. I walked away eager to find out what next year will bring.

Donna – This ride is not to be missed at Land of Illusions!!!!  It is a bit hard to find, though.  I feel it needed additional lighted signs directing visitors back to the entrance.  Once we arrived at the boarding place we were given protective goggles and directed to board an army truck outfitted with paintball guns.  We then began our journey through the Zombie-infested woods and told to fire at will.  They came out from cars, shacks, even an old abandoned boat!  This was the highlight of our evening and so much fun riding through the dark, foggy woods shooting at Zombies. I could do this every single night!

Gus – This attraction doesn’t rate very high on the scare factor, but what it lacks in scares, it makes up for in sheer glee in peppering zombies with paintballs. If your trigger happy, you can get a refill for 5$. The actors are troopers to repeatedly get pelted with paintballs over and over, especially now that it is even longer. I challenge you to come out of this without an ear to ear smile on your face.

Teresa – This one isn’t very scary because the actors never get very close to you. It is a lot of fun though. How often do you get to shoot “real” undead zombies? You get to drive through several scenes which are lit strategically with black light and shoot anything that moves. The lighting makes it easy to see where you’re hitting so you can adjust your aim accordingly. And if you don’t go too crazy, there are plenty of paint balls for the entire ride. And if you run out, you can buy more.

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Final thoughts

Todd – Land of Illusion is THE place to be for haunt fanatics. It has just about everything all in one place, for an incredible price. Those who think ticket prices are steep, consider that on average, you’ll pay half that cost for a single haunt. Here you’ll get 5 for the “price of 2.” Also – you can go through each haunt as many times as you want. Once you’re there, settle in for the night. Grab some food, a beer, sit by the fire, experience the haunts and make an evening out of it. The owner and staff work very hard each year to keep the park in good shape while adding new features. As I’ve said in the past, LOI is built with passion first and foremost and it sure sounds like in years to come we’ll be in for some new scares!

Gus – Land of Illusion is a great bargain for your Halloween dollar. A single admission fee lets you go through the attractions as many times as you want. It also features live music and other attractions at the main stage, a fire pit to keep warm, a full service bar and the nicest bathrooms you have ever seen at a haunt. The Land of Illusion feels like a party that just so happens to have haunted attractions. It is great fun.

Teresa – This is a great place to spend an evening. There is something for everyone. The place is HUGE. And there’s a nice big central area with a bonfire and a bar, a large video screen with music, nice restrooms, and even a bull to ride if you’re really brave. They also host live concerts and events. The haunts are a lot of fun and you can go through more than once. And shoot zombies! A definite recommend. I’d give this a 5 on value. I only rate it a 4 overall because it could be scarier and I can’t give a 4.5. You get a lot of bang for your buck.