Land of Illusion 2012 Review

Land of Illusion Haunted Scream Park: Middletown, OH

Opening Comments – Todd C – Haunt Reviewer:
When we were asked to visit Land of Illusion, I immediately expected Kings Island’s Halloween Haunt part 2. With the combination of little marketing and distant location, Land of Illusion was never really on my radar. Therefore, my expectations were low. I figured it would be okay but not great. I expected subpar actors with consumer-grade props. I estimated we’d see everything within an hour. I couldn’t have been more wrong.

Paranormal Party / Club Zombie

These are not what I would call haunted attractions, but rather just help the atmosphere of Land of Illusion. As you enter the Scream Park, you’ll be greeted with a towering bonfire 12 feet wide with plenty of seating. Club Zombie is a stage located off to the right where a healthy dose of techno and pop music were being blasted. Through the night these spots were hotbeds of activity where people were gathered, munching on snacks from the snack bar, dancing or singing along to the music from Club Zombie, or just fighting off the night’s chill around the bonfire. This makes the night feel like a party, someplace to hang out, rather than just a trip through a haunted house.

Dr. Psycho’s Haunted Estate

This was the most traditional “haunted house” style haunt, including both indoor and outdoor areas. Both were great. Outside, lighting is minimal . in the good way. There’s just enough light to know where you’re going and see what you need to see, but not enough to foresee what’s lurking ahead. Inside, you find yourself in a two story building full of grotesque detail and excellent actors. There were a number of knee-level nooks that the actors could approach you from that were very effective. This attraction was also unexpectedly long yet never tiresome or stale.

Another top notch haunt. Dr. Psycho has been busy raiding funeral homes to create all sorts of nasties from piranha plants, werewolves, and other failed experiments. This haunt starts off inside, exits and meanders through the woods for a bit before returning to another wing of the Haunted Estate. The scenery and animatronics really shine here. There is always something creepy to look at and the animatronics are very well placed for the best scare factor. The actors were incredible, jumping out from impossible positions to deliver quite a scare. Don’t miss this one.

Rating: 10 – Excellent

3D Killer Clowns

This is easily the tamest of the haunted attractions at Land of Illusion. It all centers on the use of 3D glasses and neon paint on the scenery, which they play up really well. The effect is very cool, you have to touch the walls to convince yourself it’s not really jumping off the wall, but not that scary. The actors in this haunt crack jokes at the expense of the patrons (playing into the evil clown vibe, I guess) but they stand out from how awesome the rest of the park actors are. The scenery all focuses on the 3D effect, leaving the rest of the haunt uninspired. This section could use some more animatronics, props or something to fill it up the bare sections and bring it up to the caliber of the rest of the haunts. The 3D effect is cool, but it should not be the only thing to see in the haunt. Unfortunately this one did not live up to the quality of its neighbors. The 3D effect with the black lighting worked well with the glasses. However, that’s about all it had going for it. The whole thing felt a little too lit to create a creepy ambiance and the actors were sparse and tame. There’s an outdoor maze in the middle of it which was completely void of actors, decoration or props which made it nothing more than a disruption to the flow and theme. It was full of clowns, but most of them were static props that do not move. The 3D effect was not enough to salvage this one. In my opinion it would be MUCH better if the black light artwork was traded for a darker atmosphere and make the clowns more demonic and dirty than colorful for the sake of the black light. This haunt doesn’t come close to the caliber of the other others.

Rating: 5.5 – Average

Temple of Terror

I have to say, this was my favorite haunt at Land of Illusion. Don’t let the unassuming entrance fool you. Once you step through the Temple doors you’ll know you’re in for something extraordinary. The spirits let you know right away they don’t appreciate you trespassing. Waterfalls, rope bridges, booby traps and huge skeleton demons await you on this attraction. I felt like I was in an Indiana Jones movie, all that was missing was a giant boulder, mine car ride and an annoying sidekick. Since Land of Illusion lets you go through the attractions as many times as you want, you’ll want to queue up again to see all the stuff you missed the first time. Loved it! This was the first attraction we went in. From the outside, it looked like a themed facade for a restroom so naturally going in. I expected a very cheesy and short haunt. Upon entering, the very first thing we experienced was standing in an isolated room (surrounded by skeletons no less) that began to shake violently. Once the rumblings stopped, the door opened and off we went. To my surprise, one of the 4 skeletons turned out to be an actor. I had no idea. My mind was immediately opened up to what was ahead. The theme remained consistent throughout – skeletons everywhere, walls made from skulls and bones. It truly felt cavernous. We experience a gargantuan animatronic that I wanted to stand and admire for minutes on end. We also found ourselves in a “jungle” room complete with water and a suspended rope bridge that visitors must cross. My favorite surprise had to be the dropping ceiling. When you get there – you’ll know. The attention to detail is top-notch and the length was easily 4x what I expected.

Rating: 10.5 – FRIGHTMASTER

Voodoo Bayou Shanty

This one had the most consistent theme among actors. They all played hill jack crazies yielding guns, knives and chainsaws. There were constant shouts regarding trespassing, threats and hints of incest to boot. There was a little less to look at in this one, but it was still effective in keeping the disconcerting environment. There were a few queue-like areas made up of boarded walls allowing the outside light to come through the thin slits between each board. This made for a cool (but perhaps unintentional) effect. This also provided a key opportunity for actors to sneak up behind you unknowingly. All in all, this was still a fun one. I would affectionately call this the redneck haunt. This one really assaults all your senses. The nasty kitchen actually stank. There was gratuitous use of chainsaws, coming from all around you, but you never quite could tell from where. This really heightens the experience in my opinion. It must have been pretty effective, as we had other groups trying to push past us to get out. When they finally did escape, the actors chased them all the way to the bonfire. Great stuff!

Rating: 10 – Excellent

Middletown Haunted Trail

This one is worth the price of admission alone! This trail is LONG. We were told it’s .9 miles. Just when you thought you had reached the end, there was even more. There are no limitations of props outside evidently as we encountered school busses standing up on end, an old metro bus that you actually walk through, a beautiful headless horseman animatronic and a lot more “I don’t even know what that is but it looks awesome” things. There are areas within this trail that are near pitch black and the actors take full advantage. One constant remains throughout Land of Illusion – the actors feed on fear. At one point on our hike, our female reviewers were surrounded by 5 actors; 2 yielding chainsaws. They are relentless and it made this trail especially great. Land of Illusion has found a way to stuff the entire trail with different props and themes to keep you engaged (and possibly scared shi-tless) the whole time. This is the longest haunt I have ever experienced. It was probably 20 minutes of walking, minus the time hiding from the chainsaw crew. Just when you get to an “exit” a whole new theme kicks up. This mishmash of different experiences all in the same attraction makes for a great haunt. It never lets up, and there is always something weird and wonderful around the next corner. I have no idea how many actors they have staffing the trail, but somehow we always seemed to have at least 5 actors around at any one time. Beware the pig men, you’ll hear their incredible squeals before you see them. If you only visit one of the attractions at Land of Illusion, you can’t go wrong with the haunted trail. It is worth the price of admission all by itself!

Rating: 10.5 – FRIGHTMASTER

Comments

Todd C. – Haunt Reviewer
Overall, Land of Illusion tops its mainstream competition in my opinion. You can tell it is produced and run by people who are passionate about haunts and do it for fellow Halloween fanatics more than to simply make a profit. I was blown away over the quality, length, uniqueness and innovative ideas that almost each attraction brings to the table. In the center of the haunts, patrons can take a break around a large bonfire and keep warm. The overall environment of the park is very welcoming. It was incredible!!!

Andy (Gus) G. – Haunt Reviewer
The Land of Illusion really is a totally different caliber of haunted attraction. It completely blew away my expectations. You can visit other haunted attractions around the area, but they just don’t deliver the same level of sophistication that can be found at Land of Illusion. Not to mention the fact that you can go back through the haunts as many times as you like. You are really doing yourself a disservice if you do not include this one in your Halloween season.

Gina P-G – Haunt Reviewer
I very much enjoyed this park. I call it a park because it really doesn’t fit, just calling it the Land of Illusion. As soon as you walked in, the atmosphere was very fun, with the bonfire rolling and the haunts all scattered about. There were actors trolling around, scaring random people, the Ghostbusters were there, souvenirs, and lots of things to look at and take pictures of. This is the type of place that a bunch of people could just go to and hang out, without even going into the haunts. Although, if that were the plan, they’d be missing out on a lot of great scares. One thing that stood out remarkably for me, was the dedication of the actors. They really had fun, and even managed to stay in character when you asked questions. Each haunt itself was extraordinary and unique. The props were fantastic, the animatronics impressive, and even the smell of some of the haunts was befitting. Very impressive. This is a place that pulls out all the stops to give the customer a good scare. And the best part is that it’s unlimited. If you like a certain one, you can go back through all night, if you so desire. This hidden gem doesn’t get enough recognition. Highly, highly recommended!

Bang for the buck
Score – Frightmaster Candidate! – 10.5 points

Curb Appeal
Score – Excellent! – 10.0 points

Scare Factor
Score – Frightmaster Candidate! – 10.5 points

Actors/Professionalism
Score – Frightmaster Candidate! – 10.5 points

Audio Effect
Score – Excellent! – 10.0 points

Lighting
Score – Excellent! – 9.5 points

Overall rating: 10.5 – FRIGHTMASTER

Visit their web site at www.thelandofillusion.com